A president begins an illicit affair with an intern at the White House. He is 25 years her senior. The affair is discovered. There is a huge fuss, which eventually dies down with only minor damage to his reputation. He is married to a beautiful and clever woman who has given up a great deal to support him in fulfiling his ambitions.

 

A cabinet minister is discovered to be having an affair with an actress 20 years his junior. It emerges that apart from enjoying sucking her toes, he insists on wearing the shirt of the football team he supports while they are making love. His wife and the mother of his three children forgives him, although the disclosure of the affair by the actress costs him his career.

A male MP is found dead from asphyxiation after indulging in a perverse and dangerous form of sexual activity involving bondage and the deprivation of air during orgasm.

There’s no end, in fact, to the stories of successful men whose identities have been subverted by sex, money and violence, says psychoanalytic psychotherapist Adam Jukes. Barely a day goes by without a story of a man involved in compromising, illicit or illegal behaviour, from sex to violence or financial corruption, he observes. These men all have one thing in common – their masculinity – which, in his controversial new book, Is There A Cure For Masculinity?, Jukes likens to an illness or personality disorder.

 

“Every major non-geological disaster in history has been man-made, from climate change to the credit crunch and from warfare to genocide. Men’s denial of vulnerability and the need to consume and acquire are intricately connected.” Masculinity, argues Jukes, is like an illness acquired in early boyhood. It is, he believes, built on a ‘fault’ created during the Oedipal crisis and is hugely destructive.

 

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“That’s why men engage in risk-taking behaviour. We think with our willies and our willies are not very intelligent! The reason masculinity is not fit for purpose is because men will always put short-term gain ahead of long-term interest. Men are the ones who gamble, who commit most of the crime, rape and murder, and who indulge in risky sex.”

Much of male behaviour – the quest for power and status, chronic sulking, workaholism, risk-taking, infidelity – is a paradoxical defence against men’s overwhelming feelings of weakness, vulnerability and humiliation, Jukes argues.

But not everyone agrees. Masculinity is not an illness acquired in boyhood – it’s just the way men are, says career consultant and author Rowan Manahan. Men are simply “hard-wired” to be risk-takers and competitive, believes Manahan, whose job brings him into regular contact with everyone from entry-level employees to boardroom executives.

Yes, he acknowledges, masculinity often means men are less inclined to put their hand up to seek help because they don’t wish to reveal their vulnerability – but masculinity is not all bad, insists the father of two girls.

“Masculinity is also a good thing because since the dawn of time men have been wanting to make better tools or fly to the moon – we’re constantly pushing the boundaries. However, I’d also say that it’s a bad thing because there’s a lot of adrenalin and testosterone-fuelled stupidity happening around us every day,” he says.

“We’re pretty un-evolved for coping with the modern world. Men still share about 90 percent [I actually said that homo sapiens shares circa 95%] of their DNA with chimps – look at the behaviour of traders in any boardroom of any financial institution! It’s like the beach volleyball scene in Top Gun but without the baby oil – all chest-thumping, high-fiving and willy-waving!”

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Follow-on rant to come