The wise men of the Dakota Indians reckoned that the optimal approach when you discover that you are riding a dead horse, is to dismount.

Phshaw! How unimaginative! I stumbled across some much better ideas and combined them with another raft of wisdom from a recent email:
  • Invest in far more powerful whips.
  • Change riders – find someone who is really serious about reaching this destination.
  • Initiate disciplinary proceedings against both horse and rider for missing a clearly identified goal.
  • Reclassify the dead horse as a “living-impaired equine.”
  • Restructure the horse’s incentive scheme to contain a significant performance-related element.
  • Encourage the horse to work late hours and perhaps a few weekends, until he has “caught up” with the shortfall.
  • Appoint a committee to study the horse. [So obvious! How could the Native Americans have missed that one?]
  • Arrange for the Tribal elders to visit other countries to see how other cultures overcome the issue of living-impaired equines.
  • Revisit the targets and role standards so that living-impaired equines can be accommodated. [No dead horse left behind?]
  • Appoint outside contractors to ride the dead horse – and set really clear milestones for the journey.
  • Convene a dead horse productivity improvement workshop.
  • Harness several living-impaired equines together to increase speed.
  • Conduct a productivity study to see if lighter riders improve a living-impaired equine’s performance.
  • Note in the next quarterly conference call that, as the living-impaired equines do not have to be stabled, fed or watered, they are less costly, carry lower overhead and therefore contribute substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do the equines used by our competitors.

Or my favourite:

  • Promote the living-impaired equine to a supervisory position, citing the historical precedent of Emperor Caligula …